“I don’t suppose you have any kleptomaniacs in society in Washington.” said a New York dowager at the capital the other night at dinner, “but we have them in New York. The last great ball I went to with my daughter we wore very handsome seal skin wraps. Arriving at the dressing-room, the checks for them were handed out and my daughter put them between her teeth for a moment while she was adjusting a portion of her dress. She had occasion to speak to me and so dropped the checks on the floor, and we were about to hurry off to the ball room. I was determined, however, not to lose our wraps and so sent for a friend who was one of the reception committee, and we went into the cloak-room, where I identified the seal skin wraps and got fresh checks for them. At the close of the ball, when we went for them, the man in charge told me that Mrs. Blank, one of the ultra-fashionable women of the Four Hundred, had presented the lost checks and insisted upon my seal skin wraps being delivered to her. When she was informed of what had occurred in the matter of issuing new checks and the visit of the member of the reception committee to the cloakroom, she worked herself into a fine frenzy and walked off indignantly.
Upon another occasion, at one of the great weddings, quite a dramatic scene occurred. The bridal presents were all ostentatiously displayed to excite the envy and gratify the curiosity of the guests. A detective in plain clothes was in the room. He saw a well-known beautifully dressed woman go up to the table and begin admiring and commenting on the beauty of everything with great enthusiasm. She picked up a diamond bracelet and adroitly concealed it. The detective kept his eye on her, and as she was leaving the house to get into her carriage he stepped up to her and said: ‘Excuse me, madam, but haven’t you forgotten to leave your wedding present?’ She was equal to the emergency and pulled herself together with that consummate alacrity which amounts to genius in her sex, and said: ‘Oh, yes, so I have. Thank you very much. Very good of you, indeed.’ Then she calmly swept back to the table where the presents were displayed and depositied the bracelet with the box which contained it, the detective’s eye taking it all in with an amused and quizzical expression.”
Well, well, well. What’s the function of this story? To fill space in the Ann Arbor Register, sure, but what else? To inform the Society in Washington, DC that they’re not up-to-date if they haven’t any kleptos? To bemoan the grasping nouveau riche? Or perhaps just to give the peepul a chance to peek into the lives of the “ultra-fashionable”?
However, the internal commentary is interesting, remarking as it does that “The bridal presents were all ostentatiously displayed to excite the envy and gratify the curiosity of the guests.” The “dowager” was either a wry observer of her set or the editor of the piece was making a social statement.
This raises a point that I won’t go into now: this was written during the era of “yellow journalism“.