He Has Squared the Circle

Boston Transcript: P. Valin, a nervous little old gentleman of Somerville, has discovered that everybody who buys liquids is being cheated. He says the gallon measures in common use do not contain 231 cubic inches, as required by law, and he has proved it to his own satisfaction by testing a standard gallon measure with a set of square tin boxes of known capacity. Mr. Valin has great confidence in his own measures and in his method of proof, which requires a squaring of the circle, but a little thing like that does not bother him. He figured out a method of squaring the circle some years ago, and has been squaring circles ever since, with the greatest of ease. He says that, as a practical result of his figuring, he has found that the standard gallon is about a wineglassful “shy,” and he calls on the authorities, in the name of the president of the continental congress, at once to rectify this error. Just what he will do if the government continues to go on cheating the consumers of liquids he does not say, but the mandates of a man who has squared the circle, it seems, should be given some consideration.