The Making of Bobby Burnit; Being a Record of the Adventures of a Live American Young Man, by George Randolph Chester. Illustrated by James Montgomery Flagg and F. R. Gruger. ©1908 & 1909.

Every so often I take a break from Buchanan’s Journal of Man and The Knickerbocker and post-process somebody else’s project. Usually it’s an essay book or some crap vintage fiction. This time it’s a novel that can best be described as a “business romance” with overtones of creepiness and the occasional thrill.

Bobby Burnit’s successful merchant father, John Burnit, has died, leaving his 3 million dollar estate wholly to his son. Half has been placed in trust so that Bobby can maintain a good living, and the other half is to be doled out in 250k chunks for Bobby to either succeed or fail in business. Each failure leads to another draw. The idea is that the elder Burnit had not done well to train his son in Business, and therefore is using this staged bankruptcy to help Bobby determine if he is just going to have to live on Daddy’s fortune or if he can create his own.

That’s the business part. Without giving away too much of the plot, Bobby is basically a good guy, though a bit naïve, and invests in everything from swampland to public utilities to a newspaper to an opera company, and is continually taken for a ride. At his side is Agnes, Bobby’s sweetheart and one of his father’s trustees. She, of course, is smart, forthright and beautiful, and refuses to marry Bobby until he has either succeeded or failed. That’s the romance part.

The thrills are some political machinations, bits of fisticuffs, and a near drowning.

The creepy part isn’t eldritch so much as just well, creepy. Bobby’s father knew just what Bobby’s path to success or failure would be, and left short letters with his trustees to be given to Bobby at appropriate points. So throughout the book, Bobby is handed a gray envelope, often labeled something like “To my son, on the occasion of his buying swampland” or “To my son, on the loss of the business to that Silas Trimmer.” John Burnit is as much a character as the ex-pugilist sidekick (and has better lines), but except for the original fault of training Bobby correctly the first time, was apparently perfect at everything he did. Perhaps he was just precognitive.

This book was made into a 4-reel movie in 1914. The synopsis, according to TCM:

Bobby Burnit, a naïve young man, inherits $300,000 from his father, a hard-working entrepreneur. Because the will specifies that the money must be invested, Agnes Elliston, Bobby’s sweetheart, suggests that he take over his father’s chain of stores. Soon Bobby becomes the dupe of various swindlers and charlatans, among them Sam Stone and Bobby’s shady lawyer. With the help of Bobby’s friend Biff Bates and Daniel Johnson, a loyal employee of Bobby’s father, the swindlers are exposed in the newspaper and Bobby’s inheritance is saved. Finally, after rescuing Agnes from Stone’s advances, Bobby proposes to her, thus complying with all of his late father’s wishes.

Like most movies based on novels, it seems to be merely inspired by the novel. Bobby didn’t have a “shady lawyer” in the book. For other changes, you’ll just have to read it for yourself.

1. This Club shall be known as the Ignoramus Club of ——.

4. Every member shall be pledged not to read the latest book until people have stopped expecting it.

5. The Club shall have a Standing Committee that shall report at every meeting on New Things That People Do Not Need to Know.

6. It shall have a Public Library Committee, appointed every year, to look over the books in regular order and report on Old Things That People Do Not Need to Know. (Committee instructed to keep the library as small as possible.)

8. No member (vacations excepted) shall read any book that he would not read twice. In case he does, he shall be obliged to read it twice or pay a fine (three times the price of book, net).

11. The Club shall meet weekly.

12. Any person of suitable age shall be eligible for membership in the Club, who, after a written examination in his deficiencies, shall appear, in the opinion of the Examining Board, to have selected his ignorance thoughtfully, conscientiously, and for the protection of his mind.

13. All persons thus approved shall be voted upon at the next regular meeting of the Club—the vote to be taken by ballot (any candidate who has not read When Knighthood Was in Flower, or Audrey, or David Harum—by acclamation).

Perhaps I have quoted from the by-laws sufficiently to give an idea of the spirit and aim of the Club. I append the order of meeting:

1. Called to order.
2. Reports of Committees.
3. General Confession (what members have read during the week).
4. FINES.
5. Review: Books I Have Escaped.
6. Essay: Things Plato Did Not Need to Know.
7. Omniscience. Helpful Hints. Remedies.
8. The Description Evil; followed by an illustration.
9. Not Travelling on the Nile: By One Who Has Been There.
10. Our Village Street: Stereopticon.
11. What Not to Know about Birds.
12. Myself through an Opera-Glass.
13. Sonnet: Botany.
14. Essay: Proper Treatment of Paupers, Insane, and Instructive People.
15. The Fad for Facts.
16. How to Organise a Club against Clubs.
17. Paper: How to Humble Him Who Asks, “Have You Read—-?”
18. Essay, by youngest member: Infinity. An Appreciation.
19. Review: The Heavens in a Nutshell.
20. Review. Wild Animals I Do Not Want to Know.
21. Exercise in Silence. (Ten Minutes. Entire Club.)
22. Essay (Ten Minutes): Encyclopædia Britannica, Summary.
23. Exercise in Wondering about Something. (Selected. Ten Minutes. Entire Club.)
24. Debate: Which Is More Deadly–the Pen or the Sword?
25. Things Said To-Night That We Must Forget.
26. Adjournment. (Each member required to walk home alone looking at the stars.)

The Romance of Old New England Rooftrees, by Mary Caroline Crawford. Published 1903. ©1902.

Thanks to Janet Blenkinship for post-processing this project!

Bookp(h)ile

A Little Girl in Old Detroit, by Amanda M. Douglas. Published 1902.

Thanks to Emmy for post-processing this project!

Bookp(h)ile

A Jolly by Josh, by an otherwise unnamed person (1902). A letter from a man (Josh) to his nephew (Tom) who wishes to buy a pony. It is one of the self(?)-published books we’re contributing to the Project Gutenberg archive.

I have no idea who “Josh” is, nor why he would send a copy of his letter to “Charlie.” I doubt he is related to the popular character “Uncle Josh” created at about the same time by Cal Stewart for the Edison Wax Cylinders — Stewart’s “Josh” is much more homespun…

Water Baptism: A Pagan and Jewish rite, but not Christian; Proven by Scripture and History, Confirmed by the Lives of Saints who were Never Baptized with Water. By James H. Moon, ©1902.

This is a heavily annotated essay arguing against water baptism for Christians. James H. Moon (1830-?) wrote and self-published two books that are in the Library of Congress catalogue — this one, and Why Friends (Quakers) do not baptize with water. Seems he had a theme.

Thanks to Geetu Melwani for Post-processing this challenging text!

The Onlooker, Vol. 1, Part 2. May 28, 1902.

This small magazine has an article on Tammany Hall, a short theatre review, some gossip, and some miscellany.

The Editor, Alfred Henry Lewis, has a split personality on the web. Is he the lawyer-turned-cowboy? Is he the muckraking journalist? Any clues would be greatly appreciated.

The magazine itself has no presence on the web, except of course, for at Odd Ends, DP and PG. It is similar in appearance and layout to The Philistine (Elbert Hubbard’s magazine) of the same era, but unfortunately I can’t find any pictures.

Thanks to Diane Monico for Post-processing this text!